I do not hate you for the things you did to kill your sadness. For the mouths you kissed, thinking of the life they would breathe into your hollowness, for the opportunities you missed because you felt worthless. I do not hate you for the ways in which you tried to stifle the darkness, for the ways you tried to prove that life wasn’t just some sick trick and that you weren’t born a target. I do not hate you for being confused, for running before you knew how to calm the shadows that danced inside of you.
…this is when you need to let them love you, even if you’d prefer to run from the sun into the shadowy sirens that call your name like a prayer.
Prishtina is just a place somewhere in the world.Maybe it’s a lot like your world.Maybe it’s nothing like it.But if you look closer, you might find someone like you.
So you want me to tell you something about myself? I don’t have anything to say.Even if I did, you’d be wrong to believe me.Trust is a lie.Nobody ever knows anyone.I thought I knew you, but I guess it;s easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. You also think you know me, but you don’t.And that means you don’t know what I can do.
I may not always know what I’m doing but I’ll try to make things better.I know what it’s like to want to search for something more, that’s why I’m always running.And I’m tired of it.The whole time I keep thinking about all the stuff that I should have done when I had the chance, but didn’t.I make mistakes and I mess up a lot, but I’m trying to learn how to be okay with that.I’m mostly insecure, but I believe that if you want something bad enough, you can always find a way to get it.
Think of how many people have sat next to you on a bus, train, whatever, on purpose, in hope that you’ll talk to them. I’m sure somebody has. There’s plenty of times when somebody’s seen you and hoped that you spoke to them, but you never did because you don’t have the guts and neither do they…
Don’t go around thinking nobody likes you and that you’re not loved. There’s been plenty of times when a stranger has spotted you and thought “ Oh,they’re just my type ” but haven’t had the courage or confidence to open their mouth and initiate a conversation. The funny thing is, neither have you..
But still, it’s not about the people, it’s about all the chances you’re missing in life only because you’re too scared to try. Too scared to go out of that circle called routine. Too scared to say no to the people who want you to be something you’re not, to be someone else. too scared to go out there and show yourself because this thing might change your whole life and you just hate changes…
This is another day in my life. A life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside, so, how do you get to what’s inside? How do you get what’s inside, out? Once upon a time, there lived a very pretty girl, who lived in a beautiful box, and everybody loved her.